Last week I praised the name of MoviePass. Without them I wouldn’t be able to see so many movies for the low price of 10 dollars a month. No this isn’t an ad, but MoviePass, as I say everyweek,

But maybe I was too quick to sing the companies praises, because this week, I saw two movies that… well I’m not one to spoil things but let’s just say, I’m not happy about the choices I’ve made in life. Thanks MoviePass!

Justice League

Some days you just can’t rid of a bomb, at least that’s the case for Warner Brothers when it comes to Justice League. After re-shooting more than half of the film and even changing directors, WB’s big budget super hero movie still ended up being awful. Terrible. A disaster. The worst. Still better than Batman V. Superman and Suicide Squad though… so there’s that at least.

Now, I could talk about Superman’s horrible fake upper lip, I could talk about how Ben Affleck looks like he’d rather eath glass than continue being Batman, I could talk about how the villain of this story has no motivation because they had to change so much of the film after the backlash of Batman v Superman, I could even talk about how the plot of this movie is basically Man of Steel, Superman Returns, and the first Christopher Reeve’s Superman all over again (we get it, bad guys want land. GET A HOBBY), but I won’t do that. Instead, I’ll simply say that there are 5 scenes in this movie, ONLY 5, that brought any kind of emotion to me that wasn’t confusion or frustration.

And when I say 5 scenes, I mostly mean 5 moments. Some of these “scenes” lasted mere seconds, so I don’t want to give off the impression that there were ever extended periods of time where I was enjoying the film. At the end of the day, this is a bad two hour movie that has about 15, maybe 20, minutes of goodness buried under a giant pile of trash. When the ending credit scene, a scene that most people will not have seen because typically when the credits role PEOPLE GO HOME, ends up being arguably the best scene in your movie, you know you’ve done something wrong. I could spend all day explaining why this movie is a complete disaster and how WB and DC should be ashamed of themselves for the product they put out, but life is entirely too short to waste anymore time on this film. Better luck next time DC… if there even is a next time.

4.5/10 (train wreck)

A Bad Mom’s Christmas

A Bad Mom’s Christmas…. you know what? I’m just gonna put my professional “BS’er” reviwer hat on and get through this as quick as possible.

A Bad Mom’s Christmas is a film that brings together a great cast but ultimately forgets to give them anything to do. A movie about 3 mom’s “taking back Christmas” gives off the impression that the movie is going to focus on how hard parents work durring Christmas and how some kids just never appreciate what their parents do for them, but unfortunately, for this movie, if you went to the bathroom durring one particular scene, you might not even know our three main characters were moms. Ultimately, this is a completely forgetable film that felt like it only delivered laughs when the talented actors went off script and improvised their own lines. As far as I can remember, there wasn’t a single scene in the movie that had to do with the actual plot of the film that made me laugh. I think the funniest thing about this movie, is that after saying all of that, I still thought it was better than Justice League.

4.75/10 (train wreck)

Last week when I announced to two movies I would be seeing, I had a strong feeling it was going to be a bad idea. Little did I know, I would be seeing two movies that wouldn’t even be able to get 5’s on the Thinks of a Thoughter scale… WOW. So, what’s coming next week?

A Pixar movie and a Denzel film with a terrible title. One of these will surely be great…. right?